Life meaning
 

Home . Intro 1 . Intro 2 . Psychology . Meditation . First Aid . Search

Infidelity navigation: Summary * fidelity 101 * fidelity 108 * fidelity 2 * fidelity 3 * fidelity 4 * emotional cost * triangles * how to mend * models of mending * how to forgive * the unforgivable * relationship education * exits from intimacy * ending a relationship in peace * defences * emotional intelligence * re-romancing * on vulnerability

Relationship navigation: * page list * page 1 * page 2 * page 3 * page 4 * page 5 * how to build intimacy * how to mend * models of mending * commitment quiz * toxic patterns * mental maps * tough love * boundaries * turning points * how to end * forgiving * survey of marriage * what is success * marriage research * love styles * marriage quotes * family love like the wind

Meditation navigation: Mind * how to meditate * lovingkindness * embodied mind * the Sacred * Yoga Nidra * the resolve * Tonglen meditation * forgiving * Antar Mouna * Tantra * Vedanta psychology * inner smile * reciprocity * spiritual materialism * mental maps * trusting in mind * prayer * zen mind * manifestos

How to mend navigation: 1. How to mend * 2. Models of mending * 3. How to be a grown up * 4. Hold me tight * 5. Becoming vulnerable * 6. Emotional bids * 7. Constructive fights * 8. Exits from intimacy * 9. The answer


Bookmark and Share Last edit of this page 08/02/2011

Three slightly differing translations of Rabbi Hillel's 3 questions of Jewish ethics.

If I am not for myself, who will be for me?
If I am only for myself, what am I?
If not now, when?

If I am not for myself, who is for me?
When I am for myself, what am I?
If not now, when?

If I am not for myself, who will be for me?
If I am not for others, what am I?
And if not now, when?

Hillel the elder (30 BC - 9 AD) in Pirke Avot Volume 1, page 14

 

This interpretation retrieved from http://members.tripod.com/~chippit/mishna_14.html 18/01/06

Today Hillel's famous three questions are usually taken rhetorically, meaning: Look out for yourself, stick up for yourself, or no one else will; but if you are only concerned for your own selfish interests, you are unworthy; and now is the time to act.

Rabbinic commentators give a similar but more pious interpretation: only I can carry out my responsibilities to do good, and get merits by which God will judge me when I die. Maimonides adds psychological insight: a person acquires habits of doing right or wrong -virtues and vices- while young; youths should do good deeds now, and not wait until adulthood.

Hillel put these sayings in the form of questions, I believe, because he intended them to be asked and answered when we face important decisions.

"If I am not for myself, who is for me? When I am for myself, what am I? If not now, when?" Hillel If I am not for myself, who is for me? not only implies that it is legitimate to pursue your own interests, but also starts you thinking of the best way to pursue your interests. Your answer to "If I were not for myself -if I had to rely totally on others- who would be for me?" will give you a shrewd idea of who are your friends and allies, and who is not with you, or is actively opposed to your efforts.

When I am for myself, what am I? asks "What should be my role in this situation?" This partly a moral question: what do I owe to others, what do they owe to me? And it is also a practical question: how should we define and share responsibilities in a way that is most beneficial to both people in a relationship?

If not now, when? is the strategic question of timing. Sometimes, we should act immediately, and sometimes we should wait until a later, more opportune moment. What is urgent? What should I postpone? What can I do now to improve my options later?

Hillel's three questions encapsulate a philosophy of life which is a true synthesis of the ancient Hebrew and ancient Greek traditions - a synthesis at the heart of Classical Judaism. In contrast to the Greek tradition, Hillel doesn't begin just with personal happiness as the goal, and then try to see how wisdom can lead a person to the path of goodness. And in contrast to the Hebrew tradition, he doesn't begin just with a person's responsibilities to others and to the community.

Hillel's approach instead is a conscious effort to balance the pursuit of self-interest and service to others. He sees that balancing our personal interests and our obligations to others is a problem that each of us needs to solve creatively at each stage of our lives. Each time we face an important life decision, the three questions launch us and guide us on this quest for balance.

© William Berkson 1999 Source


 
DISCLAIMER

The information in this web site is provided as a free service. Accessing this site does not create any form of legal or professional relationship and neither this web site, its host or its contributors accept any liability or responsibility for any action taken or avoided on the basis of information provided. It is dangerous to rely on generalized information or guidance. You should ALWAYS seek independent professional advice in order that it can be tailored to your own individual circumstances.

Inclusion of other sites on this site in no way implies endorsement by me of these sites or any services offered by these sites. These links are provided as a service only and as when purchasing any service or product, consumers should satisfy themselves as to the validity and credentials of those who offer a service.

FAIR USE NOTICE

This page contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. This material is made available in an effort to advance understanding of the issues covered herein. We believe this constitutes a fair use of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the U.S. Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. 107, the material is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in reading the information for research and educational purposes. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond ‘fair use’, you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.