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Last edit this page 02/05/09

1.0 The necessity of blame for forgiveness

• "To forgive someone, you must blame someone
• Blaming means that you conclude that someone is accountable for causing something to happen, and
• that what happened was wrong
• Blaming answers the questions Who? and Why? ‘Who hurt me and why did they do it?’" Beverly Flanigan
• More of Beverly Flanigan's tools for blaming the injurer from 'Forgiving The Unforgivable'

2.0 Web Resources on blame

• A dharma cartoon about getting even
• A buddhist view of blaming by Lama Zopa - we do it because we don't like suffering
• The serial bully at work
• A good scapegoat is almost as good as a solution
• THE expert blamer is one diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder

• Blame as an expression of anger over an issue of fairness and justice
• Richard Bandler, one of the founders of NLP, playing the blame game
• Hitler's blaming techniques from an NLP perspective [if Hitler link broken download here]
• Misdirected blame requires the support of psychological defence mechanisms

• Blaming in step families
• Emotional blackmail in families
• Complementarity of roles in families
• A site about negotiation and resolving conflict and one about fair fighting in marriage

• The blame game in the school system
• All of the book 'You can choose to be happy - rise above anger' on line, free
• Chapters 1 & 2 of 'The Surrendered Wife' on line, free and equally provocative,
• blaming men doesn't stop domestic violence

• Using the sociology of knowledge for framing blame

3.0 Victimology

• Web resources on victimology
• Victim-offender mediation and restorative justice articles
• Raising children to resist violence

4.0 Resilience

• Web resources on resilience
• Made stronger and better by adversity - thrivenet.com, Chapter I 'Survivor Personality' and the Resiliency Centre
• Strategies for highly resilient people - survivor guidelines
• Blame and responsibility - no nonsense self-defence

5.0 Intractable Conflict

• THE web resource on intractable conflicts

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