The Quotations Page collected by Katie O'Briant and Steve Spanoudis also has one of the best on-line poetry collections some of which quoted below. Another quote page on this link.
More of my favourites here.
1. We realize that what we are accomplishing is a drop in the ocean. But if this drop were not in the ocean, it would be missed. -- Mother Teresa
2. At some point your heart will tell itself what to do. -- Achaan Chah
3. In the long run, we get no more than we have been willing to risk giving. -- Sheldon Kopp
4. With every deed you are sowing a seed, though the harvest you may not see. -- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
5. What one does is what counts and not what one had the intention of doing. -- Pablo Picasso
6. Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness thatyou are able to give. -- Eleanor Roosevelt
7. The ocean, king of mountains and the mighty continents
Are not heavy burdens to bear when compared
To the burden of not repaying the world's kindness.-- The Buddha8. I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something I can do. -- Edward Everett Hale
9. "Well," said Pooh, "what I like best--" and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called. -- A.A. Milne, from The House at Pooh Corner
10. In nothing do men more nearly approach the Gods than by doing good to their fellow man. -- Cicero
11. Each person has inside a basic decency and goodness. If he listens to it and acts on it, he is giving a great deal of what it is the world needs most. -- Pablo Casals
12. Happiness is a by-product of an effort to make someone else happy. -- Gretta Brooker Palmer
13. One must never be in haste to end a day. There are too few of them in a lifetime. -- Dale Coleman
14. Advice would be more acceptable if it didn't always conflict with our plans. -- Anonymous
15. Travelling in the company of those we love is home in motion. -- Leigh Hunt
16. Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tries, and a touch that never hurts. -- Charles Dickens
17. It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters, in the end. -- Ursula K. LeGuin
18. If you want happiness for an hour take a nap.
If you want happiness for a day -- go fishing.
If you want happiness for a year -- inherit a fortune.
If you want happiness for a lifetime -- help someone else.
-- Chinese Proverb19. Without the human community one single human being cannot survive. -- The Dalai Lama
20. Everybody can be great because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love. -- Martin Luther King Jr.
21.What really matters is what you do with what you have. -- Shirley Lord
22.You teach best what you most need to learn. -- Richard Bach, from Illusions
23. With songs and everlasting joy upon their heads: they shall obtain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away. -- Isaiah 35:10
24. Past the seeker as he prayed, came the crippled and the beggar and the beaten. And seeing them . . . he cried, "Great God, how is it that a loving creator can see such things and yet do nothing about them?" . . . God said, "I did do something. I made you." -- Sufi teaching story
25. We serve best when we hold dearly in mind the goal and purpose rather than our place in the process.
26. Live never to be ashamed if anything you do or say is published around the world - even if what is published is not true. -- Richard Bach, from Illusions
27. My satisfaction comes from my commitment to advancing a better world. -- Faye Wattleton
28. Only a life lived for others is worth living. -- Albert Einstein
29. When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it. -- A.A. Milne, from The House at Pooh Corner
30. A person's true wealth is the good he or she does in the world. -- Mohammed
31. Life's most persistent and urgent question is, What are you doing for others? -- Martin Luther King Jr.
32. "When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.
33. The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits - islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides." Anne Morrow Lindbergh b. 1906 - 2001.
Wacky quotes - and more quotes
34. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am more in touch with my inner sociopath.
35. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
36. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.37. I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself, unless I want to stay employed.
38. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.
39. Having control over myself is almost as good as having control over others.
40. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of self- judgment.
41. I honor my personality flaws for without them I would have no personality at all.42. Joan of Arc heard voices, too.
43. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.
44. I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.
45. As I learn the innermost secrets of people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.
46. When someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as gratifying.47. The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.
48. As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun.
49. All of me is beautiful, even the ugly, stupid and disgusting parts.
50. I am at one with my duality.51. lessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots.
52. Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.
53. I will strive to live each day as if it were my 50th birthday.
54. I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.
55. Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so!"56. False hope is better than no hope at all.
57. A good scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.
58. Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my underwear in the Hollywood Cafe. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.
59. Who can I blame for my problems? Just give me a minute.... I'll find someone.
60. Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying about the future.61. The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working.
62. I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.
63. Becoming aware of my character defects leads me naturally to the next step of blaming my parents.
64. To have a successful relationship, I must learn to make it look like I'm giving as much as I'm getting.65. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.
66. Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot.67. Great discoveries and improvements invariably involve the cooperation of many minds. -- Alexander Graham Bell
68. It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well. -- Rene Descartes
69. We should take care not to make intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. -- Albert Einstein
70. We have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.--Inscription on a New England tombstone.
PoetryRegardless of weather,
the moon shines the same;
it is the drifting clouds
that make it seem different
on different nights.
--Matsuo Basho's priest friendThe dictate of the light says: Know yourself and what you are. The dark replies, By all means, but then become afraid. -- Tanith Lee
Through the darkness of future past
the magician longs to see
One chance out between two worlds
fire...walk with me.
--Twin PeaksIn darkness I am whole again... -- Wisdom
It's sad that, in our blindness
we gather thorns for flowers..
--My Dying BrideLove is full of fear. The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost. --G. K. Chesterton
Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.
"And now the silences come in a single lifetime, in a single year...when species die, leaving a silent space in the worldsong that can never be filled." --Charles DeLint (The Wild Wood)
Everything tastes better dead. --David E. Williams
Fear is what kills us.
To fear death is to misunderstand life.
By foreign hands thy humble grave adorned;
By strangers honored, and by strangers mourned.
--Alexander PopeWhen you are taken unawares by an outbreak of fire or the news of a death,
there is in the first mute shock a feeling of guilt, the indistinct
reproach: did you really not know of this? Did not the dead person's name,
the last time you uttered it, sound differently in your mouth? Do you not
see in the flames a sign from yesterday evening, in a language you only
now understand? -- Walter Benjamin, One-Way Street, 1925-6How loud your heart is calling, love,
How close the darkness at your breast,
How hectic are the rivers, love,
Drawn through your dying wrist.And love, what heat your frail skin hides,
As pure as salt, as sweet as death,
And in the dark the red moon rides
The foxfire of your breath.
--DragonlanceIf only I could understand
The reason for my crying
If only I could stop this fear
Of dreaming that I'm dying.
--Laura Palmer's Diary July 30, 1984Madness in the soul is simply passion over reason.
It is good to have some friends both in heaven and hell.
God defend me from my friends; from my enemies I can defend myself.
I want to hear the last Poem of the last Poet. --James Morrison
Some men see things as they are, and say why,
I dream of things that never were, and say why not. --Bobby KennedyI won't apologize your suffering excites me.
My sin is swallowed in, your violence invites me. --ShiverheadEverybody is a book of blood; Wherever we're opened, we're red.
--Clive BarkerA flash of steel and a scream of pain. The pain is short and won't come
again. A spray of red and a glare of white, replaced by black like the
darkest night. --Andrew EldritchI want to tear your heart out with my tongue. --Demon Knight
Take her arms and hold her down
and hold her down and hold her down
Until she stops screaming. -- Toad the Wet SprocketYou can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. -- Al Capone
"The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say when the one ends, and where the other begins?" - the Premature Burial 1844
"They groaned, they stirred, they all uprose,
Nor spake, nor moved their eyes;
It had been strange, even in a dream,
To have seen those dead men rise."
- Samuel Coleridge "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner""Tis now the very witching time of night,
When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out
Contagion to this world." William Shakespeare - Hamlet"Many are in high place, and of renown: but mysteries are revealed unto
the meek." - Ecclesiasticus 3:19"The smallest beast can yet have the greatest heart."
"Must not all things at the last be swallowed up in death?" -- Plato
"Fire is never a gentle master" - proverb
"Yet each man kills the thing he loves
from all let this be heard
some does it with a bitter look
some with a flattering word
the coward does it with a kiss
the brave man with the sword"
-- Oscar Wilde, The Ballad of Reading GaolShe's got her ticket
I think she gonna use it
I think she going to fly away
No one should try and stop her
Persuade her with their power
She says that her mind is made
UpWhy not leave why not
Go away
Too much hatred
Corruption and greed
Give your life
And invariably they leave you with
NothingYoung girl ain't got no chances
No roots to keep her strong
She's shed all pretenses
That someday she'll belong
Some folks call her a runaway
A failure in the race
But she knows where her ticket takes her
She will find her place in the sunAnd she'll fly, fly, fly...
-- "She's Got Her Ticket" Tracy Chapman
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right nowAnd all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonightAnd I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I amAnd you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're aliveAnd I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I amAnd I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I amAnd I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I amI just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am-- "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls
Here comes the snake and he circles your leg
He comes to play and make your body parts shake, baby
He comes swervin' down your hall
It'll feel so good when he gives it his allHe's like a jail and you need an escape
Want you to come get a file in your cake
I know he did you wrong and I'm here to give ya
What you wanted all along
Here comes the snakeYes, I believe but I'd rather not pray
What I believe in I'd rather not say, baby
Did your God show you the door?
Well, I'm here to eat your apple to the core
Here comes the snake"Here Comes The Snake" -- Cherry Poppin Daddies
I was the worst hope of my generation
Destroyed by madness, starving, hysterical
I should be allowed to share my feelings
I should be allowed to feel
-- "I Should Be Allowed To Think" They Might Be GiantsWhen I made a shadow on my window shade
They called the police and testified
But they're like the people chained up in the cave
In the allegory of the people in the cave by the Greek guy
No one understands
No one knows my plan
-- "No One Knows My Plan" They Might Be GiantsPrecious and few are the moments that you
And your own worst enemy share
-- "Your Own Worst Enemy" They Might Be GiantsYou said love was just a lie
But I could tell that you were lying
And we almost figured out how we'd get along
And given time we'd find it strange to be alone and
You just forgot your one pet name for me
And all those promises you said you'd keep
And it's a lucky thing
Because that sentimental stuff
Doesn't suit you
At all
-- "Pet Name" They Might Be GiantsThe bells explain what they've been lacking all along
They were disorganized and that was what was wrong
And now they know the way to go
The bells are ringing, they hear the sound
A girl with cotton in her ears is shielded from the bells' effect
As if by hidden signal the people turn to face her
One thousand eyes are staring
They pull away her earplugs
-- "The Bells Are Ringing" They Might Be GiantsWhen I go back again, will it be the same?
I've stopped the cries but now they know my name
The sea is calling me my spirit must return
As I get closer, was it really worth what I have learned?
-- "The Killing Hand (Exodus)" Dream TheaterLove is an act of blood and I'm bleeding
a pool in the shape of a heart
Beauty projection in the reflection
Always the worst way to start
-- "Space Dye Vest" Dream TheaterWhen you're looking at life,
Deciphering scars,
Just who fooled who,
Sit still in their cars,
The lights look bright,
When you reach outside,
Time for one last ride,
Before the end of it all.
-- "Exercise One" Joy DivisionIt's raining, raining,
On the streets of New York City
It's raining, raining, raining, deep in heaven
-- "Trial of Tears (It's Raining)" Dream TheaterWhen darkness comes to me I would live alone
I met my love and it was you you you
In my life I dream about you
Well if I'd sleep I'd see only you
You're everything everything I wanted you
I need my loving falling from you
-- Moby "You"so goodbye
please stay with your own kind
and i'll stay with mine
there's something against us
it's not time, it's not time
so goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye
-- morrissey "miserable lie"But fresh lilaced moorland fields
cannot hide the stolid stench of death
-- the smiths "suffer little children"and though I walk home alone
my faith in love is still devout
-- The Smiths "Rusholme Ruffians"We can go for a walk where it's quiet and dry
and talk about precious things
like love and law and poverty
these are the things that kill me
-- The Smiths "The Queen is Dead"I know it's over
and it never really began
but in my heart it was so real
-- The Smiths "I Know It's Over"Take me out tonight
where there's music and there's people
who are young and alive
driving in your car
I never never want to go home
because I haven't got one anymore
-- The Smiths "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out"I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday
I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday
because you're evil
and you lie
and if you should die
I may feel slightly sad
(but I won't cry)-- "Unhappy Birthday" Morrissey
Love your enemies. It will make them crazy.
In the bureacracy, any individual who thinks for herself is
considered a hooligan, or a smartass, or know-it-all, or a
trouble-maker."Our problems stem from our acceptance of this filthy, rotten system."
-- Dorothy DayAnd alien tears will fill for him
Pity's long-broken urn,
For his mourners will be outcast men,
And outcasts always mourn.
-- Oscar Wilde's epitaphLife's A Bitch But I Love Her Anyway
Isaiah 58:6-12 "Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose
the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the
oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with
the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-- when you see
the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and
blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing
will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the
glory of the LORD will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the
LORD will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. If
you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and
malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and
satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the
darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The LORD will guide
you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will
strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a
spring whose waters never fail. Your people will rebuild the ancient
ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called
Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings."Summertime and the living is easy
Fish are jumping and the cotton is high
Oh, you're daddy's rich
And your ma is good looking
So hush, little baby
Don't you cry
One of these mornin's
You're gonna rise up singin'
You're gonna spread your wings
And take to the sky
But til that mornin'
Ain't nothin' can harm you
With your daddy & your mammy standin' by-- "Summertime" from _Porgy and Bess_
And give me back my evil heart so I can see you as you are in
Maine is the world that went south
Maine is a punch in the mouth
Maine at the top of the chart
Has crushed my evil heart
Maine is the poison you love
Maine is the hell from above
Maine at the top of the chart
Has crushed my evil heart
-- "Maine" John Linnell"Life...is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory
gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable, because all you get back is
another box of chocolates. So, you're stuck with this undefinable whipped
mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when there's nothing else left to
eat. Sure, once in a while, there's a peanut butter cup, or an english
toffee, but they're gone too fast, and the taste is...fleeting. So you end
up with nothing but broken bits filled with hardened jelly and
teeth-shattering nuts. And if you're desperate enough to eat those, all
you've got left is an empty box filled with useless brown paper wrappers."
--Cancer Man waxes philosophical on "The X-FilesMadness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
I am sick unto death of obscure English towns that exist seemingly for the sole accomodation of these so-called limerick writers -- and even sicker of their residents, all of whomsuffer from physical deformities and spend their time dismembering relatives at fancy dress balls. The Limerick Times.
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. -- Douglas Adams.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. Ashleigh Brilliant.
At a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli, "I predict, Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease." Disraeli replied, "That all depends, Sir, upon whether I embrace your principles or your mistress."
Don't worry about temptation. As you grow older, it starts avoiding you. -- Old Farmer's Almanac.
Soldier: "If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?"
Lieutenant: "Normal procedure is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area." -- Somewhere in No Man's Land."Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gonewrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night." -- Charlie Brown, Peanuts
Sacred cows make the best hamburger. -- Mark Twain.
"Time's fun when you're having flies." -- Kermit the frog.
My good man, I'm not a strawberry. -- Edward VIII
It's all very well to be able to write books, but can you waggle your ears? --J.M. Barrie
Ladies, just a little more virginity, if you don't mind.--Herbert Beerbohm Tree
I don't go to mythical places with strange men. --Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul
Madame, you must really be more careful. Suppose it had been someone else who found you like this. -- Duc de Richelieu, discovering his wife with her lover
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work ... I want to achieve it through not dying. -- Woody Allen
We're Americans, we're a simple people but if you piss us off we'll bomb your cities. -- Robin Williams
Good Americans, when they die, go to Paris. -- Thomas Gold Appleton
The difference between us is that my family begins with me, whereas yours ends with you. -- Iphicrates
She supposed that basically she was an unhappy person who was happy.--Beryl Bainbridge
I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late start without me.--Somerset Maugham
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
I eat swiss cheese from the inside out.
I eat swiss cheese, but I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.
You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment, and nobody else shows up, and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? I'm like that all the time.
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.
Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.
I heard that in relativity theory, space and time are the same thing. Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up to three miles late to meetings.
Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
We were born naked, wet and hungry. Then things got worse.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
If the world was a logical place, men would ride horse side-saddle.
If you look like the photo on your driver's license, you aren't well enough to drive.
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Confidence is the feeling you have before you really understand the problem.
We have enough youth. How about a fountain of smart?
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
I used to be clueless about math, but I turned that around 360 degrees.
Why is the word "abbreviation" such a big word?
The earth is like a tiny grain of sand, only much, much heavier.
Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery.
Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
They told me I was gullible...and I believed them.
Honk if you like peace and quiet.
Learn from your parent's mistakes - use birth control.
To err is human, to moo bovine.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Eagles may soar free and proud, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.
A day without sunshine is like night.
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
Deja Fu: The feeling that somehow, somewhere, you've been kicked in the head like this before.
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
It's sad that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of wild dogs.
What was sliced bread the greatest thing since?
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
My weight is perfect for my height - which varies.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam me my clothes.
Welcome to the Psyciatric Hot Line:
- If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
- If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
- If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what
you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace your call.
- If you are schizophrenic, listen closely and a little voice
will tell you which number to press.
- If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number
you press; no one will answer.If you had everything, where would you keep it?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Inside this fat body there's a skinny person screaming to get out. I ate him.
Just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean I
You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.
In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once.
Be different. Conform.
I'm a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I'm going to forget.
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
When companies ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
Dogs believe they are humans. Cats believe they are God.
I am one with the universe - on a scale from one to ten.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are a man's best friend. So which is the dumber sex?
It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
Help wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
The more things change, the more they stay insane.
Animal testing is a bad idea - they get nervous and give the wrong answers.
Does the name "Pavlov" ring a bell?
If you can survive death, you can probably survive anything.
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.
"If you think it's easy to explain to your neighbors why you're squatting in your driveway, in front of a set of burning underwear, surrounded by hair spray bottles, holding a Barbie doll in your hand, then you are mistaken." --Dave Barry
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. -- Oscar Wilde
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. -- A. Whitney Brown
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. -- William James
Half of the people in the world are below average.
There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? -- Dick Cavett, mocking the TV-violence debate
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base. -- Dave Barry
Somebody hits me, I'm going to hit him back. Even if it does look like he hasn't eaten in a while. -- Charles Barkley, after blatantly elbowing an Angolan basketball opponent in the Olympics
Laundry instructions on a shirt made by HEET (Korea): For best results: Wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good results: Drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them. -- William Clayton
When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important
lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities. -- From "Basic Sex Facts For Today's Youngfolk" in ``Life In Hell'' by Matt Groening"Time's fun when you're having flies." -- Kermit the Frog
"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved...."---Jack Kerouac
"Not all who wander are lost" - Tolkien
When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. -- Dave Barry
The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them. -- Dave Barry
Often, the test of courage is not to die but to live. -- Conte Vittorio Alfieri
Death is life's answer to the question "Why?"
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. - Hector Berlioz, "Almanach des lettres fran_aises"
Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance. - Sam Brown, in "Washington Post", 1977
Men willingly believe what they wish. - Julius Caesar
It is better to be defeated on principle than to win on lies. - Arthur Calwell, 1968
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. - Winston Churchill
What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1958
It's a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word. - Andrew Jackson
Television - a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well-done. - Ernie Kovacs
I'm a slow walker, but I never walk back. - Abraham Lincoln
Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent. - Napoleon
Justice without force is powerless; force without justice is tyrannical. - Blaise Pascal
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. - Will Rogers
It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something. - Franklin D. Roosevelt, Speech, 22 May 1932
I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S. Thompson
It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit. - Harry S. Truman
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. - Mark Twain
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. - Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson", 1894
The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it. - Woodrow Wilson
Judges 2:18 - Whenever the LORD raised up a judge for them, he was with
the judge and saved them out of the hands of their enemies as long as the
judge lived; for the LORD had compassion on them as they groaned under
those who oppressed and afflicted them.Psalm 82 - God has taken his place in the divine council; in the midst of
the gods he holds judgment: "How long will you judge unjustly and show
partiality to the wicked? Give justice to the weak and the fatherless;
maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and the
needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." They have neither
knowledge nor understanding, they walk about in darkness; all the
foundations of the earth are shaken. I say, "You are gods, sons of the
Most High, all of you; nevertheless, you shall die like men, and fall
like any prince." Arise, O God, judge the earth; for to thee belong all
the nations!Psalm 146:3-9 "Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot
save. When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very
day their plans come to nothing. Blessed is he whose help is the God of
Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God, the Maker of heaven and earth,
the sea, and everything in them-- the LORD, who remains faithful forever.
He upholds the cause of the oppressed and gives food to the hungry. The
LORD sets prisoners free, the LORD gives sight to the blind, the LORD
lifts up those who are bowed down, the LORD loves the righteous. The LORD
watches over the alien and sustains the fatherless and the widow, but he
frustrates the ways of the wicked."Isaish 1:15-17 "Your hands are full of blood; wash and make yourselves
clean. Take your evil deeds out of my sight! Stop doing wrong, learn to do
right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the
fatherless, plead the case of the widow."An Idea That Is Not Dangerous Is Unworthy Of Being Called An Idea At All
Society Often Forgives The Criminal; It Never Forgives The Dreamer.
Gravity Is A Harsh Mistress
You Cannot Resist The Mighty Tide Of Justice
We May Be Out Of Our Element, But We're Not Out Of Our League
That which does not kill me is a mess when I'm through with it.
And the truth is, we don't know anything.
Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
Heisenberg might have been here.
If at first you do succeed, try to hide your astonishment.
Success is built by attitude, not aptitude.
The truth shall set you free, But it shall also make you miserable.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Another victory for peace, justice, and automatic weapons.
War doesn't show who's right, just who's left.
There is no rest for the wicked...even the very very wicked.
We've upped our standards. Up yours.
Radioactive Cats Live 19 Half-Lives
There are three kinds of people:
Those who make things happen
Those who watch things happen
And those who wonder what happened"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster." -- Nieztsche
"Some people come into our lives and quickly go, but others stay a while, leave footprints on our hearts and we are never, never the same."-Flavia Weedn
We, the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much with so little for so long that we are qualified to do anything with nothing.
Wanting to become a leader is to know enough evil to understand most other evils.
A friend is someone who will help you move; A GOOD friend is someone who will help you move a body.
Don't think of it as being vastly out numbered... think of it as having a wide shot selection.- Tony Allman
I see reason has failed...... THEREFORE IT'S TIME TO RESORT TO SENSELESSVIOLENCE!!!
Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.
"Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win."-- Jonathan Kozol
"People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use." -- Kierkegaard
"What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you, which given your current circumatances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer"- "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" Radio Show by Douglas Adams
"Like a great blue salmon of justice, the mighty Tick coarses upstream to the very spawning grounds of evil!"
"Your culinary crime wave ends on these shores of justice."
"They'll be no justice of the peace for you, just a big piece of justice."
"Justice is sweeter and more wholesome than water found by a thirsty man!
How spacious and conducive to plenty and well-being is justice, even if it
be but little!"